I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
