Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
