I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Randomize
