it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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