Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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