The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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