he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize