what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
