What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
