R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
