I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
