I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize