:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
