i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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