He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I want her autograph on my taint
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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