Buhtt sex?
It was confusing and full of hummus
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Houston, we have a squirter
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
