But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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