I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
