i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
