Dual....:-)
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize