Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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