Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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