I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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