Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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