just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
