That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
