It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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