hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
