i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She's the barista slut.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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