I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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