I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I look better un-naked...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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