guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize