remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
