Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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