whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
