i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The feeling are messing with the penis
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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