okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
