we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
