so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
