remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize