So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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