the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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