There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
