omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
