If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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