You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Non-Jews are for practice
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
