Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
