Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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