Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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