dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm sobbing to NWA
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
