that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
