My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
