Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
