yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
