Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
