Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
