did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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