Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize