I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
