He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
