i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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