dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
